This school newspaper article (not depicted) fails to capture the sheer embarrassment I experienced on that day. For starters, the actual project was a goofy outcome relative to what I envisioned. Basically I had built some good graces with a random corporate dude from [local Electric Company] who was trying to make the Electric Company name look good with public schools. So I asked him whether he could get Electric to donate a phone charging station to my high school, like the ones they have at malls and airports. And it could be solar powered, to be cool. His eyes got super wide, because this was a brilliant proposal as far as his goals were concerned.
So anyway, the dude buys us like a huge ass battery (think like a black speaker) on a rolly, and one of those camping fold-out solar panels, and then some extension cords and iPhone charging cables. And it's really derpy, because there's no way this thing is gonna last as a permanent fixture at our school.
So now that Electric Company has gone out of their way to make this "thing" for us, our club has to do a whole presentation to show it off (to show Schneider's name off). And so I have to engineer a crowd for this shitty unveiling. So I have my club put posters around the school advertising that we will be giving out free pizza for lunch on Friday.
So I use my club's bank to buy a couple hundred dollars' worth of Costco pizza. One problem that arises is that the flyers work too well, and so there's a huge stampede of kids, and our club is overwhelmed and definitely doesn't have enough pizza for the crowd. (Afterwards, I felt so bad because some of my club minions worked so hard but didn't even save a pizza for themselves). But the bigger problem is that I've positioned the unveiling ceremony facing opposite the pizza tables. So we have this huge crowd of kids fighting for pizza, and and all of their butts are facing the unveiling ceremony.
So I end up doing this awkward, banged up job of being an MC. I shout into the mic, "Who likes solar panels!!!!!", and basically nobody notices, because they're all going for the pizza.
There is something extremely mortifying about screaming into a mic at the top of your lungs and having nobody in the crowd respond. But like all embarrassments, nobody remembers it but me. Duh, nobody else was listening lol.
So anyway, the dude buys us like a huge ass battery (think like a black speaker) on a rolly, and one of those camping fold-out solar panels, and then some extension cords and iPhone charging cables. And it's really derpy, because there's no way this thing is gonna last as a permanent fixture at our school.
So now that Electric Company has gone out of their way to make this "thing" for us, our club has to do a whole presentation to show it off (to show Schneider's name off). And so I have to engineer a crowd for this shitty unveiling. So I have my club put posters around the school advertising that we will be giving out free pizza for lunch on Friday.
So I use my club's bank to buy a couple hundred dollars' worth of Costco pizza. One problem that arises is that the flyers work too well, and so there's a huge stampede of kids, and our club is overwhelmed and definitely doesn't have enough pizza for the crowd. (Afterwards, I felt so bad because some of my club minions worked so hard but didn't even save a pizza for themselves). But the bigger problem is that I've positioned the unveiling ceremony facing opposite the pizza tables. So we have this huge crowd of kids fighting for pizza, and and all of their butts are facing the unveiling ceremony.
So I end up doing this awkward, banged up job of being an MC. I shout into the mic, "Who likes solar panels!!!!!", and basically nobody notices, because they're all going for the pizza.
I can still feel the cringe to this day, me screaming into that mic at max volume and no crowd response. I just remember reassuring myself of the embarrassment, "Well, thank God the school year is almost over and I'm going to [Particular University]; I'll never see these people again!".
There is something extremely mortifying about screaming into a mic at the top of your lungs and having nobody in the crowd respond. But like all embarrassments, nobody remembers it but me. Duh, nobody else was listening lol.
(I should add that this "solar powered phone charging station" cost Electric $10,000-$15,000; and after that presentation, it was shoved into the vice principal's office and never used again. I got a couple nags from the sassy vice principal to remove it from her office, after it had been sitting there for a year, and I think we eventually did, and put it who knows where).
No comments:
Post a Comment