- Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
- Chuck Norris knows what Willis was talking about.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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